These Walls...Talk? By Curlyfro
Oh, I used to be a beauty. I would like to think in my old age that there is someone like Jane Austen still alive who thinks "It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before". I can only lie about my age being closer to twenty-nine, but I am still sturdy. Well, until it gets exceptionally windy or the snow piles up on me or...well, never mind. At my age there should be someone who cares enough about me to at least make sure I am warm. Someone to make sure I don't have bats in the belfry, skeletons in the closet, mice in the attic. It's not like I am difficult to live with, I just need some mending. And who at my age is in perfect condition? Which reminds me, the last man I had left me and moved in with a brand new woman. The family before that left me for an five year old condo in Miami. Oh, the Newburgs, they were the only ones who understood. They cared for me and stayed until their deaths. But oh, what I have seen since. The land I was on is now being broken into housing developments and the view I once had is blocked by a big box mart.
Years ago I used to be a hangout for the neighborhood punks, but even they have since moved on. They started with stones and moved on to BB guns, which is how I lost all but one of my windows. The one they didn't get is protected by the large maple in the back. They spray painted a picture of an orangutan in the kitchen, it looks like a large hairy baby and a dilapidated house, which I assume is a portrait of me, in the living room. The only part of me still in original condition is about the size of an international postage stamp.
Enough of my ramblings, it's just been so long since I have had company and you look like such a lovely young lady. Now what is that not you have posted on the door? C-O-N-D-E-M-N-E-D? I am not sure what that means.. Wait, where are you going? I didn't mean to offend you, please come back! Oh, the heartache of being left again...one more time...alone...unloved.
She sighed her last breathe...and all was quiet.
Antebellum By Curlyfro
Oh, the fighting must be getting close now, I can hear the cannons over the hill, almost at our doorstep. I don't know what to do , I promised I'd wait, I promised until death do us part. I...never thought it would come to that, well, not so soon. I thought we would start a family together, watch our grandchildren grow and go comfortably in our sleep... I should take the curtains down. They will only get dirty once those northerners take over. Or should I keep them up for when he comes back? I always thought the orangutan print was gaudy, I mean, who has actually seen an orangutan, but now I find it comforting since he loved them so. Why did this war have to start so soon after getting married? Why did it have to involve us? Why did he think he had to be a hero. his place is here...with his family...on his family's farm. I should hide the remaining hog...or, no...I should butcher it and cure it in the shed for Jon...for when he comes home. We will have our own little celebration, we will be carefree like we used to be, we... Here comes someone up the lane. Oh it is John's sister from town! "Mary Lynn! Oh is there news? Has he come back? Is it over? You have a letter! oh look at that from Jon-the postage is stamped right in town! that means he's home, we won didn't we! Why do you look so sad? Shall I read it a loud? You already have? Dear family of...regret to inform you...honor and duty to his country...?" What is the meaning of this? No. No no no, it's not true, they made a mistake. It's a mistake! No, get off of me, I won't go with you. No! Leave me alone, I told him I would wait. No, it's a mistake I must be here when he comes home. Oh, my shoe. Give it to me it is mine, he gave it to me, It's mine. But what do I do with it? What good is it now? I'll never wear them with him. I'll never live here another day with him. I'll never live here another day...Quick Mary Lynn, the Yankees, they will be coming. I don't want them in here! Yes, let's throw these rocks and knock out the windows, let's set it on fire. No, I have not lost my mind...this is ours, they've taken enough from me! Now Who is coming up the lane? Why those are our neighbors, the Tuckers! Hello Mrs. Tucker, yes we know we were just about to leave. They are just over the hill you say and coming this way? No! Mary Lynn, I haven't started the fire yet, there is still one window, I... Yes, another day. We must go. We must go...Oh Jon....
Diagnosis By Curlyfro
Let's see, who do I have for the 8:00 appointment today? Oh bugger...Mrs Stafford, just lovely. Last week she wanted me to write a prescription for an orangutan as an emotional support animal so she wouldn't have to go on vacation alone. What a nut. If anyone should be committed it is her. And if anyone needs a vacation it would be me!
"Dr. Arnett, Mrs. Stafford is here, shall I show her in...oh" Dianna, the receptionist was cut off as Mrs. Stafford forced her way in. Her large purple hat hitting Dianna in the head, the large purple bag hitting her in the knee.
"Dr. Arnett, I have been waiting in the office for two minutes! What is the meaning of this? Did you not see my car come in? Did you oversleep and just get into work? Were you AVOIDING ME Dr. Arnett? Dianna slips out giving Dr Arnett the "gee sorry" look.
"Mrs. Stafford, always a pleasure to see you, actually I noticed the room was a little chilly this morning and was hoping to get it warmed up before you came in."
"You're quit right! It I were crazy I'd think I stepped into the North Pole! Do I not pay you enough to keep the heat on? Now, Let me show you the picture my granddaughter drew me! Huph! There is certainly something wrong with her! (digging into purse) This one is Donny and Michelle's daughter, I never did like that woman. Got pregnant and suckered him into marrying her, I am sure I told you about her...Ahh, there it is! Just look at that!"
"Why Mrs. Stafford, it looks like a house. How old did you say your granddaughter is?"
"Abbey is six and just like her mother- that is not any just old house Dr. Arnett. She said this was a picture of MY house!"
"Well, it seems like she likes your house, look at the heart she drew above the window"
"It is a DILAPIDATED house DocTOR Arnett. She must think I am a senior delinquent living in a place that doesn't even stand up straight, look at the roof line. The left side is concave and the right convex!
"Mrs. Stafford, I now see your concern. Children do not have the hand eye coordination until about eight years old, when they start drawing "realism". Your granddaughter is in the schematic stage. She draws things as she sees them through her six year old eyes. Children start out at the scribbling stage, progress to the preschematic stage and at around age twelve..."
"So you are saying this is normal? It is normal to have my house look like it is falling down?"
"I would focus on why she drew the picture for you rather than the artistic preciseness. I am getting that Abby loves you very much and wanted you to know that she feels safe and loved in your home."
"Very well then. Do you want to see the picture she drew of me?" More digging. "Here is it! And tell me what you think about that! My legs look like tree trunks! You know how much I love to wear my dresses, well today I had to wear trousers! Just look at my legs, how could I go out like that! She thinks I have elephantiasis!"
"Again Mrs. Stafford, I think she is trying to tell you she sees you as sturdy, someone she can come to...maybe even thinks you are strong for all the things life has handed you and you are able to keep standing..."
"You're right, I have been through an awful lot! Between the alcoholism and the shopping, Johnny into drugs and Lloyd's death. Yes, my life has been difficult! But...do you think Abby actually sees this? She knows what a strong woman I am? Well, I was just about to write her out of my will, maybe I will pick her up after school and take her to get ice cream. She loves that mint chocolate chip at the corner store...I am sorry Dr. Arnett, I will have to leave this session early, I must get dolled up for my date. I think I will wear my red dress with the red and black hat. Thank you Dr. and good day! suddenly it doesn't seem so cold in here."
Yes, and I am glad everything is working out ok, have a pleasant day Mrs. Stafford"
"Goodbye Dianna, that color makes you look pale dear, If I had more time I would give you advice, but I must be going!"
Weew! ten minutes until my appointment with....let's see...Mr. Harris. What a day. Mr. Harris worked for the Post Office before going postal. When I gave him the ink blots and of course he saw postage stamps in all of them.
"Dianna, forewarn me when Mr. Harris is here, I need a drink!"
"He just walked in sir!"
Wonderful!
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