Oh Rio? By Curlyfro
"What do you imagine it could be detective?" Grusha asked while holding her nose.
"I am not sure Lyu Bof, but I won't have you exposed to it, They have been turning up all over town. Actually it started when that American tourist group showed up to steal all of our babies from the orphanages." he replied while trying to seem chivalrous to Hilda. She was one tough cookie he thought. He had been trying to make his intentions clear since he was 22 and arrived on her family's farm to investigate a dead cow. The only reason a detective was called was because they expected foul play aka poisoning by the neighbors. Why they would call him, he wasn't a veterinarian nor a doctor, was beyond him, but he was happy to get paid for something where there were no possible witnesses. He had made up heart failure and today was still pleased with his quick thinking. The cow was probably eating too much cholesterol, you know how cows can get addicted to butter. Now he was 31 and Hilda was attending University in St Petersburg where he was working. He had casually mentioned to her parents that it was unsafe to be walking the block from her last class to her dorm room by herself. You never know what type of perverts could be tracking her every move, they could even figure out her schedule, where she does laundry and bump into her as he has been doing..as uhm..someone, some predator could do. He was mearly doing those things for her safety. Her parents had passed their concerns on to Hilda, who was now being walked home. Every night. Whether she wanted it or not. To Boris these walks went too quickly so he was secretly thrilled at the brown lump...lumpy thing...disc like brown thing with a stripe, but not a skunk, in the road. It was a welcomed distraction. Tonight he was finally going to confess his love for her, but kept getting tongue tied. He was pleased with her reaction when he had called her Lyu Bof, "Love" he thought he saw her shiver.
"It looks like some sort of food" Grusha was bending down for a better look when Boris grabbed her around the waist and hauled her backwards.
"I implore you to stay back from that dreadful creature, or whatever it is, you are too presssssursen" Damn! Boris thought, I chickened out again. She is just so precious to me!
"Don't you think you are overreacting?" (Again, you creep) she wanted to add. She still remembered the day she met him when she was 12. A family friend had just hired him on and wanted him put to the test, so they had called him when their cow died. The cow had died while giving birth, but he was convinced it had died of cardiac arrest. Drinking too much milk or butter or some absurd thing like that. Her family had managed to make it to the house before they broke into fits of laughter. Her father had gladly paid the ridiculous fee simply for the entertainment Boris had supplied for years to come. Unfortunately business was slow for the detective and he moved to St. Petersburg. Forgetting about him by the time she started college she hadn't recognised him when they bumped into each other in the laundry mat. The first time or the second time a month later. Shortly after that second "accidental" meeting she was informed by her parents that he would be walking her home. Effective immediately. Her dad was chuckling when he got off the phone so she knew he was hoping for more intriguing stories. She had tried to make the walks as short as possible, but the weird little wafer had caught her eye tonight. At this point she decided it wasn't worth getting man handled again and started walking home.
"Don't you think we should talk about it?" Implored Boris with as much passion as he could muster.
"It must be some wafer those Americans brought from home and dropped" She replied without turning around.
"Not the wafer, my sweet, marriage" he choked out as though it was his last breath.
"Marriage? Oh... you are right it must be one of those OH RIO things, yes chocolate wafers married together with a cream center! That may be the one intelligent thing I have ever heard you say! Well, we are here and the mystery is solved, Good Night Boris!" and with that the door was closed firmly.
She must have a heart like vinyl siding! He thought as he started home. He resolved to do some research on vinyl siding, it couldn't be completely impenetrable.
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